You Can Have It All

By Nancy Pollard, LCSW, LLC
Nancy Pollard

You Can Have It All, written by Arnold Patent, is a great book with a wonderful philosophy.  Can we have it all in business and in relationships, in love and money? Or are these areas so demanding that one gets sacrificed for the other?  I have witnessed huge disparities between wealth in bank accounts and wealth in relationships. Stated another way, million dollar bank accounts and poverty level relationships seem to go hand in hand.  If this is the case, then in the end, we have nothing at all.  

It appears to be easier to increase your net worth than it is to build and sustain a rich and vibrant relationship. Success in love seems very nebulous to many.  Many argue that they can’t be good at everything, maybe so, or maybe not all at once.  However, what if the qualities that you apply to your success in business were applied to your partner?  Would you be successful then?  Could you then have it all?

Ask yourself what are the 10 most determining factors in creating your financial success.

Here are two cumulative lists of a wealthy woman and a wealthy man.

She states:

An undeniable desire to achieve
Blatantly honest
Ability to take responsibility
A sense of humor
Proverbial optimism
Unafraid of ultimatums
Confronting facts

In her relationship does she have an undeniable desire to achieve a healthy and intense relationship or is it way down on her list? Is she blatantly honest with herself in her relationship? Does she have self-confidence to be the most loving partner? Does she take responsibility for her part when things get screwed up or does she point the finger and blame? Is she bold and assertive or wishy-washy and withholding?  Does she keep her sense of humor or does she take everything personally, become defensive and use it as an excuse to leave? Is she optimistic and believe that the relationship can be better by persevering and getting beyond the rough times?  Does she give purposeful ultimatums and confront the facts of the relationship, or does she deny that there is deceit and indeed a tangible problem?

Her answers are consistent and shocking.  Obviously, if she runs her business the same way she runs her relationship, she will be in the poor house financially.

He states:

Risk taker
Good communicator

At home is he a risk taker investing in his commitment and opening his heart to another? Is he educated on the topic of what is a healthy relationship?  Does he end past relationships peacefully or by hating the person or being hated?  Does he have integrity with his partner? Is he flexible or rigid? Is he open to constructive criticism and open to new ideas, new adventures and opportunities? Is he a good communicator, fights fairly and agrees to disagree?  Or does he hit below the belt and name call? Does he hold a grudge and someone hostage for mistakes refusing to forgive? Is he persistent in his love life refusing to give up, and committed to plugging through the rocky times? And lastly is he loyal to his partner, his commitment or is he flaky and indecisive?

His answers are an astonishing contrast to how he runs his business. No wonder his relationship is bankrupt.

If you run your business like you run your relationship you will either be a disaster or a success.  Have it all.  Have a million dollar bank account and a million dollar relationship. 

Just a little Mountain Therapy

Copyright © 2015 Nancy Pollard



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